damnit grandpa it’s 2021, they’re not spiders anymore, they’re arachnid americans and more importantly my friends
do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do
when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time
when u miss the last step on the stairs
my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”
|—||Chuck Palahniuk (via wholelottaperfect)|
"Mom can we get McDonalds?"
"Eat what’s in the fridge"
Somebody has been secretly eating some of my peanuts at work and I am appalled
I’m just kidding, I just like to spread malicious rumors in the workplace. The tension makes it a more fun environment to work in
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have time to sleep